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	<title>Time For Clarity Blog</title>
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	<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog</link>
	<description>Thoughts on Relationships: A Toolbox of ideas for re-tuning difficulties into resources.</description>
	<pubDate>Fri, 18 Jun 2010 21:00:07 +0000</pubDate>
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		<title>Do You Want To Be Right Or Have A Loving Partner?</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/188/to-be-right-or-partnered</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/188/to-be-right-or-partnered#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 16 Jun 2010 01:26:27 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Arguing/Fighting]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Change]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Conflict]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Negotiating]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=188</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Would your decision be easier if “not being right” didn’t mean the same as “being wrong”?
A lot of couples argue about who’s right, and “The Truth”, as if there was an objective reality. And, of course, each partner believes he/she is the one who’s right. I call this “Right Fighting” and here’s why it’s a [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Anxiety</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/138/anxiety</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/138/anxiety#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 20 Oct 2009 14:03:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Anxiety]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=138</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here&#8217;s one definition of anxiety:
&#8220;When behavior, affect, thought, and/or sensation are incongruent, we suffer an error signal or anxiety.&#8221;
For me, it&#8217;s comforting to think about anxiety as &#8220;an error signal&#8221;. When I notice I&#8217;m starting to feel anxious, I remind myself it&#8217;s just an error signal from my environment. Then I get a comical image [...]]]></description>
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		</item>
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		<title>Mine, Yours, Ours</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/107/mine-yours-ours</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/107/mine-yours-ours#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Sep 2009 16:20:32 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Communication]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Negotiating]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Resources]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=107</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Scenario #1: Time
Joseph walks in the door and Letitia immediately starts telling him about her day and asking him questions about family plans. &#8220;Why can&#8217;t she give me some peace and quiet when I get home?&#8221; he later grouses to his friends.
Scenario #2: Space
 Over dinner Betsy asks Paul where her library books are, that [...]]]></description>
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		</item>
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		<title>Try Something Different</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/98/try-something-different</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/98/try-something-different#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 25 Aug 2009 19:48:02 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Change]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Negotiating]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Resources]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=98</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[There&#8217;s a famous quote defining insanity as doing the same thing again and again, yet expecting different results. We laugh because on the face of it we recognize the futility of such behavior while also being aware we&#8217;ve each been guilty of doing exactly what is being warned against.
Do you wonder, along with me, what&#8217;s [...]]]></description>
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		<title>Stop Fighting, part 2 of 2</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/74/stop-fighting-p2</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/74/stop-fighting-p2#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Jul 2009 03:36:20 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[About Counseling]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Arguing/Fighting]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Conflict]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=74</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In my last post, I explained why it&#8217;s not realistic to think you can stop fighting completely with your spouse / partner. I assumed that you picked the option of wanting to stay in the relationship and improve it. (The other two options are to end the relationship or to stay in it without changing [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/74/stop-fighting-p2/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Stop Fighting, part 1 of 2</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/68/stop-fighting-p1</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/68/stop-fighting-p1#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sun, 26 Jul 2009 02:27:16 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Arguing/Fighting]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Conflict]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=68</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Many couples call me because they have reached a point where the conflict in their relationship has become too much to bear. They&#8217;re angry, exhausted, lonely, and afraid. Not a comfortable place!
The shocking news I have to give them is I can&#8217;t help this couple - these two lovely people - to stop fighting. And, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/68/stop-fighting-p1/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Free Marriage Counseling</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/61/free-marriage-counseling</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/61/free-marriage-counseling#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 04 Jul 2009 12:58:54 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Free Counseling]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Resources]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=61</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Several times every week visitors arrive at my website who are searching on some variation of &#8220;free marriage counseling.&#8221;
I wish I could offer my services for free. After all, I got into this line of work because I&#8217;m passionate about helping people change stuck patterns into more satisfying ways of relating. But, until I win [...]]]></description>
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		<title>If Not Now, When?</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/56/if-not-now-when</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/56/if-not-now-when#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 08 Jan 2009 16:35:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[Consequences]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Readiness]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Timing]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=56</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Many people hesitate to get help from counseling. The reasons why are numerous, and maybe I’ll talk about them in a future post. The root problem of all of them, though, is they can keep you from getting a resolution of your emotional pain.
Small issues in life might resolve themselves without further harm to you [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/56/if-not-now-when/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Couple or Individual Counseling? (part 2 of 2)</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/29/couple-or-individual-counseling-part-2-of-2</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/29/couple-or-individual-counseling-part-2-of-2#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 02 Jan 2009 01:42:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[About Counseling]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Individuals]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=29</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The second situation (from part 1) is focused more on your internal needs and thoughts. You might be hesitant to attend with your partner. You might suspect that some of your core issues are at the root of the problems you’re experiencing. Or, you might be confused about whether the problems are just yours to [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/29/couple-or-individual-counseling-part-2-of-2/feed</wfw:commentRss>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Couple or Individual Counseling? (part 1 of 2)</title>
		<link>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/20/couple-or-individual-counseling-part-1-of-2</link>
		<comments>http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/20/couple-or-individual-counseling-part-1-of-2#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:33:56 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Rebecca Chesin</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[About Counseling]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Couples]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Individuals]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Marriage]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.timeforclarity.com/blog/?p=20</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[In this post, I’m going to give you the “executive summary” then discuss some of the ramifications of this question:
Getting help now before problems escalate into something harder to deal with is more important than whether you do individual or couple counseling.
Sometimes it’s clear which is the best choice for you when trying to decide [...]]]></description>
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