The Who, What, & How of My Counseling Practice
Here’s some broad information about my services, to help you get a sense of whether we might be a good fit.
My Blog also has some information about who I work with, my specialties, and my approaches to specific issues and problems. My Self-Help Toolbox contains a few of the activities, worksheets, and handouts in my professional toolbox that people have told me are useful.
I invite you to call me with any questions you have.
Who I Help
I work with adult individuals, couples, and other relationships.
My clients represent diverse cultural and ethnic backgrounds, and a broad variety of relationship and lifestyle identities and orientations.
The one thing they all have in common is feeling stuck. They might know what they want, but doubt their ability to bring it into their life. Or, they might lack confidence about knowing just what they want at this point in time.
If you find yourself in a similar situation, if you feel you’ve tried everything and are still not getting what you want, or if you are unsure about what you even want, then maybe I can help.
The specifics of your situation are unique, and of course they matter. Pain, suffering, and trouble are common to all of us though. Today we know more than ever before about ways to transform these and bring more ease, harmony, and pleasure into your life.
You can also find more information in my Self-Help Toolbox and Blog.
What I Help With
All problems we experience in life are at their most basic level a “disappointment gap.”
We want or expect one thing, and perceive we are getting something else.
This gap creates conflict. Conflict within yourself. Conflict between you and loved ones. Conflict with friends and coworkers. Irritation, resentment, anger, and frustration all come along for the ride.
And before you know it, you are lost or trapped in a sea of negative feelings and thoughts.
The disappointment gap shows up in many ways. It’s often triggered by a life transition or relationship issue. Some of the most common ones include:
- Anxiety
- Arguing or Fighting
- Depression
- Emotional sensitivity
- Insomnia
- Low Self-Esteem
- Perfectionism
- Physical health issues
- Procrastination
- Stress
We human beings are certainly creative, aren’t we?
Instead of those problems, wouldn’t you prefer to experience:
- Resilience
- Strength
- Balance
- Flexibility
- Perspective
- Courage
That’s what I help my clients with. Through crucial conversations and developing necessary skills, my work with others creates the conditions for them to be emotionally successful in modern society and relationships.
You can also find more information in my Self-Help Toolbox and Blog.
How I Help
I have found that active and collaborative involvement by clients gets them the best results. I don’t have a magic wand that I can wave over you and resolve your problems. Your effort and involvement are the key factors. And I will be right there alongside you, doing my best and working just as hard to get you the outcomes you want.
I’ve helped many clients transform their lives. I can help you to:
- Gain a better understanding of yourself, your values and needs, and how to respect all these in healthy ways.
- Develop skills and attitudes that will improve your relationships.
- Learn useful and successful ways to cope with stress and the troubles bothering you.
- Manage negative experiences and pressures and maintain growth-oriented forward momentum towards your goals.
My Approach
The basic methods I use in helping the couples and individuals who come in:
- Listen carefully and ask questions to thoroughly understand your perspective and needs.
- Share my observations of your strengths and patterns.
- Respectfully challenge thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs at appear to be no longer serving you well or positively, and help you find better replacements if that’s what you want.
- Offer useful information from my specialized knowledge about human development and success strategies, based on my studies of psychology, human development, neuroscience, and other complimentary fields.
- Use a style that blends elements of being a facilitator, encourager, catalyst, consultant, and educator.
Client Contributions for Success
These are the qualities that I see making a significant difference in my clients progress. The more you can bring these to your work with me, the more likely and easily you are to accomplish what you want. It’s okay if you don’t have all these elements yet; they’ll be our first order of business.
- Start trying to think about your goals in a positive, action-oriented framework. This means if you are saying, “I don’t want [this],” it’s like a photographic negative. Flip it around, develop the picture, and tell me what’s revealed: “I want to see / have / be doing [that].” Only if you have some idea of where you want to go can we map out how to get you there.
- Give me feedback on how we are doing together to guide me in being as helpful as possible to you. I haven’t perfected my mind-reading yet, so sharing with me your opinion on whether we are on track is invaluable.
- Commit to putting in a realistic amount of time. You can anticipate some positive change and momentum within the first several meetings. However, if the problem has been bugging you for 5 years, it may take more than 2 or 3 meetings to create lasting change. Likewise, if you can meet weekly, and are willing to do some activities and experiments between sessions, you will see faster progress.
- Be ready to roll up your sleeves. Counseling works when you are actively involved. Ambivalence is normal; and we’ll respect that.
You can also find more information in my Self-Help Toolbox and Blog.